The thing that totally gets me motivated in school is knowing that I'd be the best. Now, I'm not saying I'm great at everything but i can do pretty darn well if I try. Art is one of my best subjects and today I totally fucked up my drawing. I'm the type of person that would give up if I fail one little thing. I know that sounds totally vain and it makes me seem like a loser but in a way, I guess I am.
Which explains five minutes ago. I totally know I shouldn't put this in a public blog but I doubt that someone that actually knows me is reading this. Ok, so I was on gmail as usual and this person....let's call him....J. J told me some pretty intense things and I kinda freak out when I'm put on the spot. In this situation, it wasn't a good thing to analyze everything. I can totally be free with my friends. But, this wasn't the case. I totally stuttered (if that's even possible online) and I panicked and I just left him hanging there. My stupid little concience got the best of me. Ugh, I bet J's waiting for me at this very moment. Which makes me seem like a bitch. (I can totally be one if I try)
But some people obviously has bitch in them since the very day they were born. My friends/exes are a few. shhh, tell no one. But let's just put it this way. Today was a crappy, overthought (is that a word?) and bitch-filled day.
I'm a bitch but you know I'm your favorite ;-)
xoxo
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