Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Pessimist Says....

The thing that totally gets me motivated in school is knowing that I'd be the best. Now, I'm not saying I'm great at everything but i can do pretty darn well if I try. Art is one of my best subjects and today I totally fucked up my drawing. I'm the type of person that would give up if I fail one little thing. I know that sounds totally vain and it makes me seem like a loser but in a way, I guess I am.

Which explains five minutes ago. I totally know I shouldn't put this in a public blog but I doubt that someone that actually knows me is reading this. Ok, so I was on gmail as usual and this person....let's call him....J. J told me some pretty intense things and I kinda freak out when I'm put on the spot. In this situation, it wasn't a good thing to analyze everything. I can totally be free with my friends. But, this wasn't the case. I totally stuttered (if that's even possible online) and I panicked and I just left him hanging there. My stupid little concience got the best of me. Ugh, I bet J's waiting for me at this very moment. Which makes me seem like a bitch. (I can totally be one if I try)

But some people obviously has bitch in them since the very day they were born. My friends/exes are a few. shhh, tell no one. But let's just put it this way. Today was a crappy, overthought (is that a word?) and bitch-filled day.

I'm a bitch but you know I'm your favorite ;-)

xoxo

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