Dimensions.

This was a spontaneous, on the spot kind of thing and I don't know if it tuned out as good as I thought it would. Writing isn't one of my strengths so I'm working hard at that. This is a rough draft and when I wrote it, I thought nothing of it. I guess I start out a story with a picture in my head, which is just how I start out a painting, sketch or a drawing. Here it is:


It was a rainy, muddy day. The sun was hidden behind the clouds and the clouds were a deep shade of gray. The weather set off the right mood for a Monday morning. I could feel the mud on the soles of my black Converse sneakers. They sunk in every time I stepped in a puddle of mud. I tried to avoid the mud and stepped onto grass instead. It looked as if I was hopping from stone to stone.
I was on my way to first period; English. I was especially taking my time today because I did not complete my homework and I was notorious for that. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my friends Cuyler and Griffin.
“Hey!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. “You guys, come over here!” I frantically waved them over with one hand; the hand that wasn’t carrying my schoolbag.
The three rushed over. “What’s up?” Cuyler asked, smiling. His teeth were extremely white and perfectly straight. Then he paused and saw the look on my face. “Lemme guess, you forgot your homework!”
“Yes, can someone please let me copy their work?” I asked frantically. The rain felt cold against my bare skin. I guess it wasn’t such a great idea to wear a short-sleeved shirt on this day. “Hurry up!” I added.
Griffin handed me a white sheet of folder paper with his tiny, neat handwriting on it. This would take me forever! I groaned and threw up my hands in frustration. As I did this, there was a large gust of wind and the thin paper flew right out of my hand.
“Noooo!” Griffin wailed. I worked so hard on that last night!”
Cuyler ran after the paper. Griffin and I followed close behind. But we knew it was no use. The paper could be on the other side of school by now. We stood there panting. We didn’t say a word; we already knew we were in deep trouble. Griffin’s paper was gone and we were all soaking wet. Our socks were also brown because of the mud.
Cuyler sighed. “Well, I guess that’s it, we better get to class.” He looked horrible. His usually wavy hair was wet and stringy. His orange Family Guy shirt was as wet as a dishwashing rag.
“Wait a minute!” Cuyler exclaimed. “What’s that?” He was pointing to a basket with a red, plaid cloth over it. He rushed over and took the cloth of carelessly. Inside were twelve, red apples.
We each shrugged and took one. We walked to class in the pouring rain, not bothering to rush because we were already soaked. I quickly put the apple in my bag and walked into class. Oh no, the teacher was collecting homework!
She walked over, her black high-heeled shoes clicking with every step. The teacher blocked me by standing in the doorway. She held out her hand, which meant she needed my homework. I gave her a weak smile, dug around in my school bag and put a bright, shiny apple in her outstretched hand.

There are lots of dimensions in this story. Only I, the author understand this because this is based on what goes on in my life. This has absolutely nothing to do with school, missing homework or apples. Instead, each item and person represents something. First off, the weather. It represents a bad day. Such as when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Secondly, the people. These people, Cuyler and Griffin are parts of my brain. I gave Cuyler the role of the mussed-up, artistic part of my mind whereas Griffin is the neat, organized part of my mind. (They are real people but they don't nessecarily act like this.) They make such a great mix and they make up one thing, how I think. Next is the missing homework, this represents all the people that had caused trouble in my life and had left me hanging. The apples represent the exact opposite, my besties. They try to help me through on rainy days. The teacher is basically the people that think they know me but do not. She only knows one side of me which is an irresponsible, unorganized person but in reality, i am so much more. I hope that made sense to you and if you read the story over again thinking of the things that represent the parts of my life, you would surely understand it. I hope you liked it. :)

xoxo

Sissy Fight.

On Fridays I stay at school later than usual. It's like taking a break from tons of homework, mean teachers and bitchy people. I go and eat ice cream a few blocks away with a few of my besties. Well, on this certain Friday, we got our ice cream (tarts are my absolute favorite) and then we went back to school to wait for our parents.

We sat by these metal poles that overlook a huge, grassy field/hill where we play sports. We were just chatting and having fun when this guy walked by. Now, my friends aren't usually ones to cause trouble and they're overall nice people. I don't know what came over them that day because here's what happened:

"FAGGOT!" one of my friends yelled to the guy.

We knew this guy from elementary and he's known for his short fuse.

He lunged at my friend and my friend fell off the pole and tumbled down. They looked like they were just about to fight. The rest of my friends and I just stared because it's not everyday you see an elementary kid and a middle schooler fighting.....

So they improvised for a little while and didn't really do anything. They were lunging at each other and not to offend them, but even I could do better. They kept on punching each other, missing, then kicking each other. It just went by so fast and eventually the elementary kid backed off because if the fight turned serious, he would surely get beat up.

That reminded me of the "Krusty Battles" episode in SpongeBob SquarePants. This wasn't my usual relaxation time but all the same, it was very entertaining.

xoxo.

My Apologies.

"Are you going out with him?"
"Are you actually hanging out with them?"
"Why did you ditch us?"
"Did I just see you talk to him?"

These are some questions I get asked everyday at school. It gets rather annoying but the truth is, I don't give a crap what you say or do to me. Just don't bring anyone else into your own fucking problems. Dodge everything that gets thrown you way. Walk away from you past experiences.

That's really easy to type. It's not easy to do. Everyone interprets the world differently. Everyone thinks differently and everyone lives differently. There is every story behind a picture and the picture is you. Paint it however you want but no matter how hard you try, everyone will still look at it differently...look at you differently.

I know I'm lame for realizing that now and I'm sorry.

I was trying to please people so badly and I failed. As always. It's just I'm sorry but I can't be the person you want me to be. To my ex-best friends: I would never hate you no matter how many times I've said it. I just think that like I said before, you guys see everything differently from how I see it. 2. To my ex-boyfriend: We are similar in many ways and that's what's bad. We don't harmonize. I really did like you and I still do, just not in the way I used to. You can keep calling me a bitch or whatever but even you know that what you've been saying about me for the
past month or two isn't true. 3. To all my friends: I'm such a bitch and I can't believe you put up with me, which is a good thing. I should rightfully apologize for my stupidness.

Some people would probably read this and laugh. Some people probably won't know what the hell I'm saying. And I'm just going to accept that. This blog might be pointless. Like I said, people interpret things differently. I accept that.

xoxo

Rock Bottom.

Today was quite a remarkable day. It had highs and lows...then it hit rock bottom. This morning, when I woke up, I already knew something was going to go totally wrong. I don't know how i knew it but i just did.

Remember how I said I overthink everything? Yeah, well I guess I overthought the essay contest because I lost to my friend. Now, that didn't really bother me, after all, I didn't even think I was gonna win but losing isn't such a good feeling either. That started my day off on a terrible note.

Have you ever lied to impress someone or to seem cooler? Yeah, well, just yesterday, when I was talking to my friend on the phone, I said something I shouldn't have said. It was about another person and today, she had told him. It was all a big fat lie and I totally fucked up. This resulted in misunderstandings, anger, and then chaos.

Wait...that's not all. To top evey fucking thing off, I got a C+ as my teacher's assistant grade. (I know, it sounds totally stupid.) But anyways, that's not what made me mad. You start out with an A and then you go down 1/2 a grade for every fucking mistake. The students have to choose what you did wrong. Remember how I mentioned bitches before? (I really shouldn't put this online.) Well, one of 'em said that I was awkward and the my eyes were really big for part of the time. What ticks me off is she used to be my friend. And i'm not saying you can't criticize me. (I'm the most insultable person on the face of earth) I'm just saying that I have eyes on my fucking face and it's not gonna go anywhere and run off so what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I just scrolled up to see what I wrote. It said there were highs and lows. I was wrong. I think when I woke up, I was already in rock bottom.

xoxo

Cos I'm Dumb Like That.

School was a blur. Usually when I'm out and about at school, I totally make a mental note when something interesting happens: I am so putting this in my blog. As dorky or pathetic it may seem, I'm just like that.

Probably the thing that I remember most is fourth period, Social Studies. We were supposed to be reading and so we opened our textbooks to the correct page and started to read. We're learning about Polynesians and so there was a bunch of pictures of Hawaiian legends in it. Me and my bestie started to point out funny things in the book and giggled. For some reason, there was one that made me hysterical. Now that I think of it, it wasn't even funny. But anyway, it was dead silent and I just started laughing uncontrollably. Of course, everyone stared and I kinda got in trouble. Well, cos I'm dumb like that.

Well, I guess there's nothing much to say today....baii!

xoxo

The Pessimist Says....

The thing that totally gets me motivated in school is knowing that I'd be the best. Now, I'm not saying I'm great at everything but i can do pretty darn well if I try. Art is one of my best subjects and today I totally fucked up my drawing. I'm the type of person that would give up if I fail one little thing. I know that sounds totally vain and it makes me seem like a loser but in a way, I guess I am.

Which explains five minutes ago. I totally know I shouldn't put this in a public blog but I doubt that someone that actually knows me is reading this. Ok, so I was on gmail as usual and this person....let's call him....J. J told me some pretty intense things and I kinda freak out when I'm put on the spot. In this situation, it wasn't a good thing to analyze everything. I can totally be free with my friends. But, this wasn't the case. I totally stuttered (if that's even possible online) and I panicked and I just left him hanging there. My stupid little concience got the best of me. Ugh, I bet J's waiting for me at this very moment. Which makes me seem like a bitch. (I can totally be one if I try)

But some people obviously has bitch in them since the very day they were born. My friends/exes are a few. shhh, tell no one. But let's just put it this way. Today was a crappy, overthought (is that a word?) and bitch-filled day.

I'm a bitch but you know I'm your favorite ;-)

xoxo

Fuck 'em.

Woke up and updated my twitter. Really didn't wanna go to school. Stuffed everything in my schoolbag and rushed to school. Turned my iPod real high and tried to sleep in the car. Reached destination. Had the weird feeling that I had forgotten something important.

I was greeted by my besties. Traded answers on homework. Shit. Now i remembered what I forgotten. I had forgotten to write my essay. Who cares? Fuck 'em. Who the hell cares? It was an essay for P.E. Why the hell should I care whether or not I excercised or not? I can be fat if I wanna. Okay, I'll admit, I was sorta pissed at the school for only letting us have a week of Spring Break.

During lunch, played truth-or-dare. It was hilars. Also tried my best to finish P.E. homework. Got about 1/8 done. Swore.

Got in trouble during P.E. for talking. Everyone got to run laps. Lucky us. Played truth-or-dare. Got in trouble again. Played basketball. Got in trouble again cos they found out I didn't finish homework. Fuck 'em.

xoxo

Click.

I've always seen professional cameras and I've always wanted to take pictures with them. I love the sound it makes with every picture taken.

Well, this afternoon at around 12:00, I was looking for a cassette tape for English and i stumbled upon a professional camera instead. It was really old and I didn't even know if it would work so I aimed it at my pet mouse and took a picture. There was a soft click and I looked at the picture. I took dozens more and it was really fun until the freaking batteries ran out.

The shot at the top was actually the first one. It was when I had tried to see if it would work.

Now, i'm not saying I'm a freaking photographer or anything but I personally like that picture. i like how the background is fuzzy so it focuses on the main object. I like how i caught it in action.

As I write, the batteries for the camera is charging. I think I got myself a new hobby.

xoxo

My Pathetic Spring Break.

Woke up. Stumbled down ladder. Yawned. Read. Looked at calendar. Panicked. Started homework. Called my bestie for help. Finished homework. Went online.

Pissed that it was the last day of Spring Break. Swore. Got scolded. Remembered my Spring Break...

For the past week, (yes, we only have one week of spring break) I spent alott of time text messaging. I also spent alott of time watching movies on youtube or movies that i already owned on DVD. Also got a blogspot and twitter. Edited my MySpace profile. Now that I think about it, I haven't really done anything that productive. Basically, the best part of my Spring Break was watching youtube videos and rewinding it to the funny parts. My mom had yelled at me for that.

I like breaks from school in a way but I hate it in a way. Some people come back from breaks all chirpy and jolly while others come back pissed and tired. I'm the type that comes back pissed and tired. I absolutely hate it when I get back from breaks because I don't think properly and I get scolded for the littlest things.

Teachers on the other hand seems like they come back stricter than ever which is ironic to me because it's like teachers go to boot camp to straighten out. IDK, that's how my teacher is....

After Winter Break last year, the teacher even made a new rule because of me which I sincerely apologize for. It was reading day and i fell asleep as always but I guess i wasn't being realistic enough. Damn, i should have turned the pages of myt book in my sleep. But she caught me and made a new rule that if we sleep in class, we get sent down to the office.

Hooray.

xoxo